God created humans with a desire to have loving relationships. Relationships begin at birth between parents and their children. From parents, they branch out to other family members and friends. Added to the rest, comes the deepest, most intimate human relationship which is between a husband and wife. To have the amazing marriage that God designed for a husband and wife, both must first have the only perfect relationship which is exclusively found in Christ. Then and only then can each person understand how to love the other in a way that brings unspeakable happiness. God designed the marriage union to be a picture of Christ and His Church. Christ loved His Church to the point that He sacrificed His whole earthly life for her. The Christian responds to Christ’s love with true submission knowing that Christ has his/her best interest at heart. Christ is the example of how a husband should love his wife and the Christian is the example of how the wife submits to the love and care of her husband.
Sometimes people want “love” so badly that they settle for less than what God would have for them. When someone does not know Christ as his Savior or is not living for Him, he cannot fully understand how to treat his spouse in a way that brings true joy and happiness. He expects his spouse to do and be something she cannot be. When his spouse is no longer “what he wanted and expected,” he gets rid of her and looks for another spouse who is also unable to meet his wants and desires. Without Christ, the couple also has to rely on their own wisdom to help them through the struggles of life. They are unable to go to God who is all-knowing; He even knows how many hairs are on their heads. There is just no way to have the marriage God designed without Him at the center.
Why do so many people get into a relationship thinking that it will last forever only to end in breakup and divorce? It is because they are looking for that perfect love in a human. No human can love you to the level Christ can. If people would wait to date until both are grounded in Christ’s love and ready for marriage, we would see happier, lasting marriages. You cannot be the spouse God would have you to be unless you are grounded and committed to Christ.
Do yourself and your future spouse a favor by allowing Christ to be your first and only love until He sends you the spouse He has prepared for you. It is worth the wait!! The following are some things that you can do while you are waiting:
- Continue to build an intimate relationship with Christ by praying and reading your Bible every day. This will prepare you to be the spouse God intended you to be.
- Listen to God’s still, small voice and follow what He says. There is even a possibility that God does not want you to have a spouse; instead, wants you to serve only Him.
- Start being a servant to others. Having a servant’s heart prepares you to sacrificially serve your family.
- Stay away from smooth talking people. Anyone can tell you that you are beautiful and promise to love you for life, but if they are not grounded in Christ, they will not know how. Instead, when you are ready to be married, allow God to bring the person that He intended for you into your life. (I’m a living testimony to this. I was serving the Lord and it was through my ministry that God brought my husband literally to my front door.)
- Make a list of qualities you would want in a spouse. Ask yourself if you have those qualities in your own life. In Luke 6:31, God tells us to treat others how we want to be treated.
- Ask happily married people in your life for advice on what makes their marriage so loving. You want to work on being a good spouse before you even begin to date.
Ephesians 5:23-24 “For the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24) Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.”
By: Linda Svacha 🙂