Personally, adoption has touched the lives of many friends and family members. In the cases that I know, each child benefited from being adopted into a family better able to take on the responsibilities of child-rearing.
The greatest story is mine. When I got remarried, my ex-husband felt he could not keep up with the financial responsibilities of our three children so he allowed John, my husband, to adopt them. In so many ways that was the best decision for all involved.
I have a number of friends who adopted children who had been abused or neglected. Taking on children with preexisting issues is not an easy task and takes a great deal of sacrifice. I cannot imagine where those children would be today if they stayed with parents who were not even able to take care of themselves let alone their children. My hat goes off to those adoptive parents who were willing to give up a lot so those children could have a good home life. My hat also goes off to the birth parents who did not care what others thought, but admitted that raising children was not a responsibility that they were ready for and allowed their children something more than they could have offered them. Note: If you are thinking of adopting children that have been abused or have mental or physical handicaps, I highly recommend becoming more educated on the issues those children are dealing with. Special needs children require much more skill and attention and you may realize you are not ready to take on the extra responsibility of raising a special needs child.
I have friends who adopted babies that did not have any emotional or physical handicaps and the babies were able to grow up in homes with loving parents. Some of them know their birth parents and have great relationships with both their adoptive and birth parents. In all cases, the now adults consider their adoptive parents their parents, yet because it is safe, some have given their birth parents the gift of being a part of their lives as well. Note: Many times the birth parents are still unable to be a part of the adopted children’s lives, but what a beautiful, unselfish picture to see both sets of parents involved in their adult children’s lives.
One friend I know made a beautiful scrape book of her life and went to meet her birth mother. When she gave her birth mother the book she said, “You gave me life. I want to show you the life you allowed me to have.” It is truly a gift when adopted children contact their birth parents just to let them know that the decision they made was the right decision. Even if nothing more comes from the meeting, the birth parents can rest and not have to wonder what ever happened to their babies.
I have friends, Kristina and Pat, who are amazing. They have adopted over six children and most of them have either physical or mental issues. They have given their lives so children can have better lives. They have taken in and loved children who others thought their lives were not important. They have devoted their lives to stand by these children no matter what, to love them as their own, and be there for them through thick and thin. Love you guys and what you do!
I have friends who were adopted as children. They all had a better home life than they would have had if they stayed with their biological mother. All of them are very thankful for their adoptive parents.
Another wonderful story is when I found out that my mom had to give a daughter up for adoption. My sister was looking for my mom to tell her that she had a very good life. My mom never got to meet her, but I am glad that I now have another sister. She is a wonderful woman. My siblings and I were able to tell her all about the amazing woman that gave her life. There is a bond that has formed and something special knowing that we shared the same womb. It is amazing how much my sister is like our mother and the two of them never met.
When a baby is given up for adoption, it does not always have a fairy tale ending. Children take a lot of work and sacrifice. Children with special needs take even more time and energy. I have friends who adopted children who were abused and were not prepared to handle the emotional scares that came with the trauma of abuse. It caused a lot of problems with the family, but today those children publicly thank God for their adoptive parents. Sometimes it can be very touchy when children are given to family members because the birth parent is still a part of the family. I know of someone who allowed a family member to adopt her child and ended up suffering a lot of pain and rejection due to some misunderstandings. Yes, she suffered for her decision, but she was never sorry for the decision she made because her child had a life that she was unable to give. She wanted her child to grow up knowing the biological family. Today, that child has an amazing family and that would not be the case if the woman would not have realized that she was unable to take care of her child the way a child needs to be taken care of. I know of another person who allowed a family member to adopt his special needs son. Friends and relatives give him a hard time calling him a loser and a no good dad. How sad! He is not a loser and is an amazing dad because he knew and admitted, not caring what others thought, that taking care of his son was too much for him to handle. It was the best decision he could have made. His son is alive today because of his decision. In the end we can see that the children are the ones who benefit the most and that is what it is all about.
As I end this series, I want to say when a baby is conceived outside of God’s design there WILL be pain, sorrow, and heartache. When a life is brought into this world, the responsible adults will say, “Setting aside all emotions, what is the best situation for my baby.” When people are faced with this situation, they may need to go to a number of trusted adults to help them make the decision that is best for the baby involved.
Let’s give three cheers for all involved who put the interest of what was best for their baby ahead of their wants and desires. Let’s give three cheers for the women who chose not to abort their babies, but carried those babies in their wombs for nine months and then had the courage to allow others to take those babies as their own.
Let’s go out and share with others what a wonderful option adoption really is.
I would love to hear your story. Were you adopted as a child? Have you met your birth family? ~ Did you place a child up for adoption? Do you know where that child is today? ~ Are you trying to adopt? Where are you at in the adoption process? Leave a comment below and tell us your story.
By: Linda Svacha:)