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Men of Valor Where Are You

Knights-Templar-4      On behalf of so many hurting women, I am crying out to the male population to be the men and leaders that God has called you to be.  We need men of valor who are not afraid to take a stand for what they know is right. I beg you to please read the following. We NEED you!!!!

Currently, women and children are being treated worse than any other time in our nation. An astronomical amount of women and children are being treated like objects, used and tossed like a piece of garbage. Young girls are being raped in their own homes by the very men who are supposed to be protecting them. The average age for sex-slavery is 13. Over 300,000 youth in the United States are at risk to be sold to satisfy the lusts of men. Young men think nothing of taking sex from a girl whether she says no or not. That is called rape! The men go on their merry way leaving their victims to suffer in silence. Approximately 20 million people will contract a new STD every single year. Sex outside the marriage bed HARMS!!

Over one million babies are ripped from their mother’s bodies each year. Again, the women are left to suffer in silence. There are over 10 million single family homes. Nearly one in three American children live without a father. Where are the fathers who are suppose to protect and provide for their families? Men are beating the women and children who love them with their fists and emotional words at an alarming rate. In one DAY, over 64,000 people received services for domestic violence. Boys are assaulting their mothers and sisters while the fathers stand back and watch. Where are our men of valor who will stand up and put a stop to this evil in our country?

How have such a large number of our men fallen so far from what God created them to be? I believe there are a number of reasons. One is that many men have a lack of understanding of what a true godly leader looks like. Good leaders use their power and position to benefit those who they are leading; they do not use them for self gain. Leaders love, nurture, and protect those under them, exhorting, encouraging, and empowering them to be all God created them to be. It is easy for someone under good leadership to trust and submit to their leader because they know the leader has their best interest at heart. The greatest example of this is Christ and His Church. He sacrificed His whole life for His followers. He did nothing for Himself. His followers submit to His loving lead. Marriage is to model Christ’s example so people can understand what a relationship with Christ looks like.

Another reason is the breakdown of the family. In America before the World Wars, most men provided for their family while the women managed the household. During the wars due to the lack of men, many women went out into the work force. They received a wage and satisfaction for what they accomplished. Kids were being left alone or with sitters and were no longer under the total care and supervision of their parents causing the authority of parents to weaken. This dilemma worsened when the men came home from war and women continued to work. Not only were the children suffering from lack of proper care and guidance, women were expected to continue to manage their households on top of working. Most men looked at housework as woman’s work and wanted no part of it.  Women were becoming exhausted and feeling unappreciated. One person should not be expected to do so much. It is time to take a good look and reevaluate the home to make sure one person is not carrying too much of the load and that the children are receiving the proper guidance and care necessary for them to grown into responsible adults.

In the 60’s and 70’s numerous women were tired of feeling unappreciated and unloved. Others were treated like doormats being walked all over in the name of submission. Tired of being treated like they were less valuable, a movement began where numerous women were making statements like, “We can do life on our own” and “We don’t need a man.” Women were feeling empowered like never before causing more to follow. Many women now had a means to support the family and walked away from bondage they were feeling. Other men gave women the leadership they so desperately desired. Men giving up their God-given role as leaders was not the answer. The answer was for men to be the affectionate leaders they were fashioned to be, creating an atmosphere where women and children could feel safe and loved.

Then, during this same time that women were wanting their freedom from the oppression they were feeling, the “Free Love” movement sprang up.  To many, this is where the sexual union openly became just a pleasurable activity instead of a scared bonding between a husband and wife. Men were having their fill of sexual satisfaction without the responsibility and commitment of leading and providing for their families. Women were getting the “love” and attention they so desperately longed for. In their eyes, love was free and life was great! If only they could have looked ahead forty to fifty years to see that free-love is not free and life really is not as great for women and children as they thought it would be. Women have become objects to be used for pleasure instead of a valuable treasure worth keeping for life. Children not being guided and cared for properly has resulted in them becoming irresponsible adults unable to make wise choices. We need men to stop using women as objects to satisfy their sexual lusts and respect women enough to save sexual pleasure for the marriage bed.

Men of valor we NEED you!!! What is a man of valor? A man of valor is a man who has the strength of mind and spirit that enables him to encounter danger with firmness. He has personal bravery, caring only what God thinks of him and not what others think. He takes seriously the role of leader that God has given to men. We need men who will be the loving, sacrificial, and protecting leaders they were designed to be. The following are ways you can begin:

  • Recognize that good leaders use their power and position to benefit those who they are leading; they do not use them for self gain. They love, nurture, and protect those under them.
    • Leaders are not better than those under them. All people are to be valued and respected regardless of position and status.
    • A true man does not take advantage of those who are weaker; he stands up and protects them.
    • Women and children have feelings, value, and worth.
      • Listen to them and take seriously what they have to say.
      • Respect and treat them like valuable treasures.
      • Oversee what is necessary to make sure that their physical, emotional, and spiritual needs are being met.
    • Be willing to sacrifice your wants and desires to benefit what is best for your family unit.
  • Understand that women are not sex objects to be used to satisfy your lust and tossed aside like a dirty rag.
    • The sexual union is a mutual bonding between a husband and wife where love, safety, and trust are built. When confined within the marriage union, it is a beautiful, pleasurable bonding.
    • When sex is taken outside of marriage or with force, there is great physical and emotional danger.
    • Protect the women in your life by saving sex for the woman you are/will be married to and no other.
    • Stop degrading women by looking at pornography. It can become addicting and lessen intimacy between you and your spouse.
    • Do not laugh at or even listen to jokes where women are considered sex objects. Better yet, when someone makes jokes or remarks about women, speak up and let it be know that you want no part of degrading and devaluing women.
  • Do not be silent!
    • Talk, teach, and train the next generation how to value a woman. Most media, music, and video games are teaching boys that women are objects to be used and abused, devalued and degraded.
      • Modeling a true godly leader speaks volumes. Be a loving leader to the girls and women in your life.
        • Do not watch, listen, or play any type of media where it is considered okay for women to be used (sex before marriage), abused, or degraded in any way by a man. The sad thing is that you will be surprised how little there is left. Pluggedin.com is a great resource that lets you know what is in movies, music, and video games before you watch or play them.
      • Have intentional talks explaining to boys what a true leader is.
        • Explain that a woman is a valuable treasure. Her beauty and body are to be enjoyed solely by her husband.
        • Help them see they should be old and mature enough to handle the responsibility of caring for someone else’s heart before they ever think about dating.
      • If you see a man or boy treating a woman poorly, DO NOT keep quiet! Talk to them. Explain how name calling, lying, controlling, neglect, and physical harm are ALL abuse. Men and boys need to hear this from men, not women.
    • Go the extra mile to get involved in organizations that are trying to help women who are being abused. We need men who will stand up and say, “Enough is enough!!” Men will listen to other men. Let women see that there is hope and that there are still good men out there.
  • Get outside help if needed. There are times when the wife is doing the abusing. The answer is not to fight back or passively allow it to continue, but to get the family the help that is needed. Be assertive (taking positive action), not passive (allowing the abuse to continue) or aggressive (abusing back). You are the leader; it is up to you to keep your home a safe place for everyone who lives there.

I know some of you reading this are men of valor and we want to say thank-you. You are our heroes. Thank you to the men who:

  • Love, nurture, and protect the women in your life.
  • Treat your wife as a valuable helpmate, not a slave or doormat.
  • Listen and respect what your wife and children have to say and take in account their feelings when making decisions.
  • Refuse to watch, listen, or play anything where premarital sex is glamorized or where women are abused or degraded.
  • Intentionally talk, teach, and train boys and young men to be true leaders.
  • Take responsibility to provide and care for your family.
  • Go the extra mile to proactively get involved in putting an end to women being used and abused.
  • Do not degrade women in your jokes and who stand up and say something when someone does.

After reading this, I hope that you will put into action ways to help bring back the value of a woman.

Thank you and God Bless!

Linda Svacha, BCBC

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Satan’s Plot to Destroy the Family ~ Part VI ~ “You’re JUST a Stay-at-Home Mom?”

First, I want to say that this blog is not to put down the mothers who work for whatever reason. The purpose of this blog is to give the women who choose and are able to stay home to raise their children encouragement and to let them know that their job is of GREAT worth.

We live in a society where many people think more is better and where what you do for a living defines who you are. Because of that, women frequently go to work to buy the extras or so they can tell others, “Look at what I do.” The children are usually the ones who suffer. Often, women who want to make their career being a wife and mother are made to feel dumb, like homemaking is not rewarding, or that they are being taken advantage of. This could be further from the truth.

There are many wonderful reasons why it is good when a mother chooses to stay home. She is able to talk, teach, and train her children in the way they should go. Because she is with them throughout the day, she is able to take advantage of the teachable moments that come along and know that the values that she and her husband desire to be passed down to their children are being taught. She has more control over the influences that come into her children’s lives, especially in the formative years. When your children are being past to and fro, consistency with your belief & discipline systems become very hard to maintain.

Another advantage is that her children have a constant attachment where they can go when they need wisdom or are in trouble. Research has shown that children who have good attachment bonds are more emotional & socially stable and can have healthier brain connectors. One of the reasons for this is that she has the time to train her children in good social skills and when they are struggling with their feelings, she is able to walk them through what to do with their emotions. (Note: If you do not know how to teach your children to handle their emotions, my book has many ideas what to do and say for a number of emotions. Building Strong Families also offers free classes concerning emotions and what to do with them.)

It can be very stressful for the whole family when women who work try to juggle or split household chores, homework, sick children, etc. Being a stay-at-home mom, allows more rest for everyone. Not having to juggle everything after a long day of work allows for more relaxation and family time. Instead of doing chores, the family can spend time relaxing, playing, and ministering together.

Our children need more adults who are willing and have the time to talk, teach, and train them in the way they should go. Moms, your job can be overwhelming and unappreciated at times, but it does not go unnoticed. The time and energy you invest in your children will bring back great dividends to our society as a whole. God uses the family as the foundation that holds life together. Keep up the good work! Your job is so important!!!! Do not let anyone make you feel that what you do is any less important than what they do. May God bless you for what you do.

By: Linda Svacha 🙂

Menstrual Rag or Fine Linen

Everyone knows that a menstrual rag is to be used and tossed. Whereas, fine linen has great value and is a keepsake. God did not intend for women to be treated like menstrual rags; He intended for them to be treasured and desired like fine linen. In America, more and more women are being looked at as sex objects instead of the treasures that God created them to be. Men are using women for their pleasure and tossing them aside, used, unclean, and often damaged for life. A gentleman used to date a woman so he could see if she was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, the one who would compliment his life. He treated her with the respect she deserved. The sexual union was reserved for the marriage bed to bond a couple for life.  Now, many men want to date women to use them with no responsibility intended. They have their “fun” and then toss “their woman” aside and look for another one to use. Many are going so far as to want “friends with benefits” (sex with absolutely no commitment). The sad fact is that when women are used and discarded, the women and children suffer the most.

Women are emotional beings and have a strong desire to be loved and cherished. They suffer emotionally when there is a breakup. God created the hormone oxytocin which creates a strong bonding between two people causing them to have a “oneness.”  It is released from the pituitary gland during intimate talking, touching, cuddling, kissing, and during sex.  The more talking, touching, cuddling, kissing, and sexual activity you have, the stronger the bond becomes. When a couple split up, it can bring the woman great distress causing depression, low self-esteem, and even suicide. Having the bond and oneness that God intended only comes from being with one person for life.

Another extremely serious concern is the amount of STDs/STIs being transmitted due to sexual activity (contact with the genital area including anal and oral activity) outside the marriage bed. These diseases and infections are causing serious health issues, infertility, and even death in women. Many STIs are incurable, meaning you will have them for life. Annually, there are over 19 million new STIs in the United States (1). One in two sexually active persons will contact an STD/STI by the age 25 (1). According to Centers for Disease Control, in 2009 alone there were 12,357 women diagnosed with cervical cancer and 3,909 died from it (2). There is no condom, pill, or shot than can totally prevent you from contracting a STD/STI. Many times men have no symptoms causing them to unknowingly pass an STD/STI to all the women they use. Not only are women affected, innocent children suffer, as well. A pregnant woman with an STD can go into early labor, deliver a still born child, or cause the baby to have neurologic problems, blindness, liver disease, and more (3).

When a woman with children is abandoned, the children suffer. Currently, there are over 10 million single mothers trying to raise their children, up from 3.4 million in 1970 (4). Children in single-mother homes are more likely to live in poverty, have lower grades, take drugs, spend time in jail, and suffer emotionally. Another devastating fact is that because many men do not want to take on the responsibility of raising a family and women are afraid to raise children solo, over a million babies are aborted annually never having the opportunity to live outside of the womb. Is all of this worth some temporary pleasure?

God created the beauty of a woman. It is up to you to determine what you will do with your beauty. You can use your good looks to attract men who will use you for their sexual satisfactions and when they have had their fill, discard you. Or, you can save yourself for the man you will spend the rest of your life with being cherished and considered priceless. How will you use the beauty that God has given you?

There are a number of safeguards to help you be a woman who is treasured. First, I would watch how you dress. Your clothes send out a message. When you dress modestly, you are inviting respect. If your dress is skimpy (low cut shirts, short-shorts and dresses, bare midriffs, and bikinis), believe me, you will attract men, but they will be men who want to use you. The more revealing your clothes are, the more you will be looked at as an object instead of a person. When a woman is looked at as an object, it is easier to abuse her because objects do not have feelings. A man who looks at a woman as a lifetime partner and not a sex object is more likely to be responsible, selfless, faithful, and caring. He waits to have a relationship until he is ready to take on the responsibility of a family and saves intimacy for his marriage bed.

Next, I would wait to date until you are both ready to be married. This may sound like a crazy statement, but early dating is one of the reasons our country is in the mess it is. Adolescents are not ready to take on the responsibility of a family; therefore, building a bond with someone you may not spend the rest of your life with can be dangerous. You may compromise your values in order not to lose the person you are dating, often leading to the severe consequences presented earlier. When a couple begin to get intimate and the young man is not ready for a commitment, often he will break the relationship causing the girl intense emotional pain. Waiting to date until you are ready to be married saves you and your future children from a great deal of heartache.

Lastly, it is important to pay close attention to who a person is before you begin to date. Actions speak louder than words. Words can be deceitful. Do not date someone just because they like you. Date someone who has the characteristics you are looking for in a husband. Be picky! It is worth the wait. Some of the characteristics you should look for are: He puts God first (living for Christ, not just saying it), is a hard worker, is a giving person, and is respectful to others. He should not be easily angered or controlling. Watching for these qualities in a person before you date helps you know if you will be forsaken or cherished. Also, when you begin to date, if a male wants intimacy early on, chances are, he wants to use you. If he does not respect the fact that you do not want to get physical, end the relationship quickly.

It is time for women to take a stand and demand to be valued the way God intended them to be. Let it begin with you. Start today by putting your safeguards in place to protect your beauty and purity! You may get laughed at along the way, but in the end that laughter will turn to envy. Maybe you are a woman who has been used and tossed. That does not have to be you any longer. You are still special and of great value. God has more in store for you than to be used. Today is a new day, a new beginning! May you use your beauty in a way that brings glory to the name of Christ.

Song of Solomon 4:7 You are all fair, my love, and there is no spot in you.

Written by Linda Svacha, BCBC

Resources

1)       http://www.ashasexualhealth.org/std-sti/std-statistics.html

2)       Centers for Disease Control http://www.cdc.gov/cancer/cervical/statistics/

3)       Centers for Disease Control http://www.cdc.gov/std/pregnancy/stdfact-pregnancy.htm

4)       America’s Families and Living Arrangements http://www.census.gov/population/www/socdemo/hh-fam.html> FM-2

http://www.census.gov/newsroom/releases/archives/facts_for_features_special_editions/cb12-ff08.html

 

Satan’s Plot to Destroy the Family ~ Part V ~ “Men Should Not Be Head of Household”

The problem is not that God appointed man to be the head of the household; the problem is what man has done with his role of being husband and father. God created mankind to glorify and have fellowship with Him. God created the earth and prepared it so people would have everything they needed to survive and enjoy their fellowship with God.  God gave Adam the responsibility to have dominion over His creation and made him a helper. They were to become one flesh with the same goals. Together, they were to have children and raise them to glorify God. The problem started when they took their eyes off of glorifying God and sought their own gain. Whenever man takes his eyes off of glorifying God and makes it about him, there is trouble.

I once heard an example worth sharing. God took woman from man’s side. He did not take her from his head to rule over him or from his feet to be his doormat. God took woman from man’s side so they can walk side by side in what God has called them to do. Marriage is to be a picture of the relationship between Christ and His church. Ephesians 5:25-32 tells husbands that they are to love their wives as Christ loved the church. Christ gave His life so He could present His bride without spot or wrinkle. His life on earth was always sacrificial. His love is so great for us that we willingly trust and submit to His leadership. The same is to hold true with the husband. He is to love and sacrifice for his wife and family so that he is able to present them to the Lord holy and without blemish. When the husband places his wife and family above himself, the wife is able to lovingly submit to his leadership because she knows that he has her best interest at heart.

Many men took their leadership and turned it into a power trip. They took Ephesians 5:22-24 out of content using those verses for their own gain instead of seeing that the wife is to submit to their love and sacrifice. Men sought to use women for their own gain and began to treat them like slaves instead of partners. It is hard for a woman to submit when she is being treated like dirt instead of an equal. Women became tired of being treated like slaves and doormats causing them to rebel. Instead of going back to God’s original design where man loved and sacrificed for his family and the wife submitted to his loving leadership, women wanted no part of allowing men to lead. They could do it on their own. The pendulum swung in the other direction.

Many women wanted to take the leadership role and that is what they did. The sad thing is now many young men have no desire to lead and guide their families. Now, many men use women to satisfy their lustful desires with no thought of commitment and responsibility to their families. Why marry a woman when you can use her? If you’re not married and the girl you’re with becomes pregnant, ditch mom and baby and move on to another you can use without commitment or expect hard working people to support your child and its mother. The women and children are usually the ones who suffer most. There are over ten million single family homes in the United States and over one million two hundred thousand babies being murdered every year through abortion. Will the real man please stand up and take on the responsibility of loving, protecting, and taking care of your family? The root is not that the economy is bad; the root is that men need to love and be responsible for their own wife and family.

We need men who will not look at women as sex objects, but will realize that women are a treasure given by God to walk alongside of them to raise a family that will glorify God and/or be used to further His kingdom. We need young men to spend their time becoming all that God created them to be instead of spending their time satisfying self. We need young men who will wait to date until they are ready to leave home and pursue God’s calling, men who will wait until God brings the right person in their lives who will be their helpmate for life. Let us go back to God’s design and have the happy homes that God intended us to have.

Satan’s Plot to Destroy the Family ~ Part IV ~ Materialism

One of Satan’s plots is to get people’s eyes off of people and onto things. God’s plan to pass His legacy to the next generation is to have parents talk and teach His commands to their children 24/7. Satan had to come up with ways to stop people from communicating. I believe that attraction to things, two parents working, and television have been some of his greatest tools.

Before WWII, most dads went to work while the moms stayed at home to raise the family. At least one parent was at home when their children needed advice and guidance. People were happy with the basics of life. Television was just coming around; so much time was still spent interacting with the family.

When many men went away to war, women filled their spots in the workforce. When the men came back, lots of women chose to stay working. Personally, I believe that being a stay-at-home mom is one of the hardest jobs there is, yet one of the most rewarding. Many women enjoyed not having to “deal” with the kids all day and loved getting money for their work. Families liked the extra money and the things that it could buy. People could have so much more than “just” a home, food, and a decent vehicle. Now, people could have lots of extra toys like boats, pools, extravagant vacations, and the new televisions that were coming out. People started wanting bigger houses and newer cars. They could now afford to get their children in all kinds of extracurricular activities like dancing, gymnastics, and hockey (more time to separate the family).  Television did not help with the pull of materialism as commercials showed people that there was more out there that they could have. The economy was booming, money was to be made, and life “was good.” Was it really good or were we setting the family up to fall apart?

Television started to become much more popular. People began to spend hours watching television instead of talking. Television, instead of parents and other adults began talking and influencing the next generation. Do you really want your children becoming like those on TV? Today, the average American spends approximately 28 hours a week watching television. Can you imagine if families were spending that time talking about life and the issues of today?  Both parents were working to pay for all the “things” that money could buy. Parents showered the children with “things.” Parents were so caught up in buying their children things and giving them all their hearts desired that it left no one around for the children to connect to. Parents were busy working, shopping, and running their family from this activity to that activity. No time was left for children to stay connected to their parents when they needed their parents the most (when the frontal lobe where abstract thinking takes place). I suggest if you have not yet read my blog on brain development, you would do so now https://livingforhimllc.wordpress.com/?s=brain+development . Between the ages of twelve to twenty-four is when youth need adult guidance the most, yet by that age they are so disconnect from adults they turn to friends who are no better off to help them sort though the issues of life.

Did all those “things” that money had to buy bring happiness? Doesn’t look like it to me. Suicide has almost tripled since the 1960’s for youth ages 15-24. According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, suicide is the third leading cause of death for young people from 15-24, behind accidents and homicide. In Macomb, Oakland and Wayne counties, nearly 30 people younger than 18 have committed suicide since the beginning of 2012 (www.wzzm13.com).

I believe it is time that we reconnect with our youth! Let’s turn off the television with all its garbage and spend time once again teaching, talking, training, and playing with our children. Let’s downsize if necessary so that there is a parent there to talk to their children about the many issues they will face as a teenager and a young adult. Rather than buy your children “things,” take them out into the community to be there for those in need. Bake banana bread with your children and take it over to welcome the new neighbor in town. Go bring lunch to a shut-in. Nothing brings more joy to an elderly person than children. Give your children purpose as they watch lives touched by their generosity. Sit down and talk to your children about life. Help them see the reality of young dating, drinking parties, and premarital sex. Let’s do something to save our younger generation.

You don’t know what to say to your children or how to stay connected? The book I’ve written, Pass God’s Legacy to Your Children: One Talk at a Time, can help you with that. It helps you understand how to stay attached to your children through the turbulent years and is filled with actual talks about every subject you can think of. The book teaches you how to start teaching your children what to do with their emotions when they are very young. To order your signed copy today, go to www.livingforhimllc.us

I also teach free classes through Building Strong Families, Inc. that help parents reconnect and/or stay connected to their children. To find out more information about the classes offered, go to www.buildingstrongfamilies.us

Let’s start today to be there for and make a difference in our young people lives!! They are our future.

Hebrews 13:5 let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Satan’s Plot to Destroy the Family ~ Part III ~ “Kids Dating is Cute and Innocent”

A kid dating is not cute and innocent. Allowing children to date before they are ready to get married sets them up for failure. I hope that today’s blog will help you see why it is important to discourage dating until boys are ready to take on the responsibility of a family and girls are ready to take on the responsibilities of being a wife and very possibly a mother. In today’s blog, I will cover brain development and attachment hormones and how they relate to our youth.

If you have not read my blog, Brain Development, posted 3/24/12, now would be a good time to read it. Knowing that the frontal lobe, where critical-thinking (which helps us see the consequences to our actions) and problem-solving takes place, does not even begin to develop until between the ages of 12 to 15, we can clearly see that our youth are not ready to handle the powerful emotions that go along with a romantic relationship. Abstract, critical-thinking and problem-solving are learned skills. Until the brain has matured and children are taught how to think past the moment, they will respond according to their emotions. Many adults still respond to their emotions because they were never taught the purpose of emotions and what to do with them. (For more information on emotions, feel free to read the blogs I’ve written concerning emotions)

We can see that children are unable think clearly because of their brain development. If you add the knowledge of the hormone oxytocin, you will unmistakably see why dating before adulthood is lethal. Oxytocin is also known as the “love hormone.” Oxytocin is the hormone that plays a huge role in lifetime bonding. It is why romantic and family relationships are so strong. Oxytocin is released from the pituitary gland when people hug, kiss, cuddle, dance, or hold hands. It can be released when kind words or acts are done to you. Large amounts are released during sex, childbirth, and when a mother nurses her children, making the bond even stronger. Oxytocin makes people more sympathetic, supportive, and open with their feelings.

The problem with having a strong bond with someone you are not going to be committed to for life is that it can be devastating if it is broken. The fear of the bond being broken can cause people to do things that are not good and even harmful. The stronger and deeper the bond, the more willing people are to do things they do not really want to do. Some examples are: Girls are so bonded to a guy that they will give in to having sexual relations. What started as a hug moves on to cuddling, kissing, fondling, and then intercourse. ~ Girls will not leave an abusive relationship because of the strong connection that has been created. How can you tell a young couple to turn off their feelings and the bonding that takes place? You cannot. God intended those feelings to lead to a “one flesh” relationship. Breaking up with multiple partners builds walls that can harm the connection and oneness when a couple does get married.

The above information explains why the depression and suicide rates increase for sexually active teenagers. They become depressed when they give in to sex, but wanted to be a virgin on their wedding night. Teens become depressed and even suicidal when a relationship is broken. It explains why there is so much teenage drama that goes along with dating and breakups. That bond does not just go away when there is a breakup. It is devastating when you have a strong bond with someone and you see them with someone else. Children cannot see past tomorrow and will use negative coping strategies or even take their lives to try to deal with the pain because they cannot picture life without that person. It has also been shown that children who are dating do poorer in school.

Our children must be taught that they need to wait until they are ready for marriage and know what to look for in a spouse to make sure they are getting a responsible lifetime partner and not someone who they will be miserable with. They need to know that it is not even good to hug, kiss, or hold hands because that touch begins the bonding process. They need to understand the bonding process and the importance of bonding with one person for life. There is no way to know at 11, 13, 15, or 17 if a person will be committed to God and be faithful to his family. It is almost impossible at that age for them to turn off feelings and stop the relationship from going too far. During those years, instead of them dating, we need to be teaching them what to look for in a spouse and how to be a good spouse and parent if the Lord blesses them with children.

What are some things that you can do to encourage our young people to wait to date?

  • Pay attention to shows and movies that encourage teenage dating and do not allow your children to watch them
  • Share this information with your children and any other young people you might know
  • Think about if school dances and proms are actually a good idea or if they encourage young relationships
  • Share this information with other parents
  • Think about how many STI’s and abortions can be prevented
  • Start having talks about what to look for in a spouse and about the responsibilities that go along with marriage and parenting. My book is filled with examples in this area. Go to livingforhimllc.us to get your signed copy today.
  • It’s time we start protecting our youth instead of leading them to the slaughter

 

On a side note, this knowledge of oxytocin helps us to see the importance of physical touch in order to stay bonded to those we love. Parents need good physical touch with their children. Married couples need to go deeper to keep the “one flesh” bond alive and strong. Go hug, hold, kiss, and cuddle those you love. Married couples, go to bed together and enjoy your “bonding time.”

Satan’s Plot to Destroy the Family ~ Part II ~ “Sex Just Another Activity”

Sex is not just another activity. God created sex to be a wonderful, exciting bond between a husband and a wife. When that bond is shared with another, it dulls the electrifying connection between the couple. God created a space where no one else should enter in. In Genesis 2:24 God instructed man and woman to leave mom and dad and become one flesh. They should be one flesh in mind and body. When it comes to sexual pleasure, your heart, mind, and eyes should only see your spouse. Anything else is not God’s design and causes separation and pain. The marriage bed is a safe place to be enjoyed. God is clear that the sexual relationship outside of the marriage bed is dangerous. Hebrews 13:4 “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” The American culture is a prime example of the truth behind this verse.

Before the 1960’s and the Hippie Movement, the family unit as described in the Bible (Husband + Wife + Children) was highly valued. The man took great pride in being responsible to take care of his family. He was the leader and provider. The woman took pleasure in walking alongside of her husband to make sure that the family’s needs were being met. When sacrifice for and the best interest of the family was put in the forefront, the home ran with love and unity. When selfishness was the motivating factor, things did not work out well. Sex outside of the marriage bed was called what it was ~ SIN. Abortions were rare and unheard of. Family was there for each other. The family unit was a powerful bond.

Satan did not like the power, love, and unity that came from a strong family unit. In order to destroy the family, he had to attack the powerful, connecting bond between a husband and wife. If he could weaken and destroy that bond, he could destroy the family. Satan would use the Hippie Movement of the 1960’s to get the ball rolling.

The Hippie Movement was all about free love and sexual liberation. They had a “if it feels good, do it” attitude, yet they had very little thought or concern for the consequences of their actions. They had no problem having multiple sexual partners or having sexual relations outside of the marriage bed. Sin may be enjoyable for a time, but it will take you further than you want to go and cost you more than you want to pay. Where has this “free love” attitude taken us and what has it cost us? Here are some statistics:

  • Abortions went from approx. 300 a year in the early 60’s to approx 1.3 million a year. Over 50 MILLION babies have been killed. “Free love” has not been free; instead, it has cost many people their lives.
  • In the US in the year 2000, an estimated 8 million cases of sexually transmitted infections occurred in fifteen- to twenty-four-year-olds. (This is just one year) (1
  • Sexually transmitted infections kill, cause infertility, cause death and blindness to offspring, causes depression and a feeling of uncleanness or regret.
  • Sexually active girls are three times more likely to be depressed and three times more likely to have attempted suicide as virgins; sexually active boys are twice as likely to be depressed and eight times as likely to have attempted suicide as virgins. (2
  • In the 1970’s there were approximately 3 million single family homes; today there are over 10 million. (3
  • Many people do not even get married and of those who do marry, about 50% end in divorce. It seems that the kids suffer the most.

It saddens my heart that sex has become such a lustful, selfish act that a young girl could be unmercifully raped and people think it is so funny and normal that they take videos and walk away not even caring about the girl being violated. Where has our society gone?

I believe it is time for our country to take a stand to protect our young ladies and their offspring from the pain, sorrow, and death that is resulting from sex outside of the marriage bed. It is time to encourage our young people to wait to date until they are ready for marriage. It is time for our girls to take a stand and say, “I will no longer be used, abused, and tossed away like a dirty rag. I will wait until I am someone’s treasure.”  It is time for our guys to say, “I will not abuse or use a girl. I will wait to date until I am ready to take on the responsibility of raising my family and treating my wife like the treasure she is.” In my next blog, I will be sharing why it is so important for young people to wait to date until they are ready for marriage.

1) McIlhaney, Joe S., Jr., MD and Freda McKissic Bush, MD: Girls Uncovered, pg. 36; Copyright 2011:  Northfield Publishing, Chicago

2) McIlhaney, Joe S., Jr., MD and Freda McKissic Bush, MD: Girls Uncovered, pg. 69; Copyright 2011: Northfield Publishing, Chicago

3) American Association of  Christian Counselors; Caring For Teens God’s Way