Tag Archive | Linda Svacha

The Table Acronym

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  • T ~ talking-Statistics have shown that a family who eats and spends time together around the table lowers their children’s chances of getting into trouble and making poor choices. There is nothing better than sharing life with those you love around the kitchen table. Problems have been solved and many victories have been celebrated there. The memories created will last a lifetime.

~Deuteronomy 6:7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.

  • A ~ activities-Bonding is happening when you do things together. What a blessing to watch the activities around the table: birthday celebrations, countless meals, card making for caroling and other special occasions, games won & lost, inventions, creations made with Lego’s and we do not want to forget the endless hours of homework (well, maybe not so much bonding with that one, lol).

~I Corinthians 10:31  Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

  • B ~ Bible studies-Some of my greatest joys have been opening the Bible with others to learn and grow together in our walks with the Lord. Hearing the powerful testimonies of what God is doing in and through each of us has been such an encouragement. His word sure is alive, powerful, and transforming!! It is so humbling going with others into the throne room of God to seek His wisdom and will.

~Matthew 18:20 For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them.

  • L ~ laughter-Hearing funny stories with belly laughter around the table is the best. There is nothing like a good friend who always has a story to tell that will get you laughing.

~Proverbs 17:22 A merry heart does good, like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones.

  • E ~ eternity-Our kitchen table has been one of our greatest investments. The talking together, activities shared, opening of the Bible, and the belly laughs have all in one way or another have been used with the hopes of seeing many around the eternal table. Spending eternity with our Lord and those we have done life with is something I and those found in Christ look forward to.

~Revelations 19:9 Then he said to me, “Write: ‘Blessed are those who are called to the marriage supper of the Lamb!’”

I love and am so thankful for my kitchen table. So many wonderful memories have been made there and I look forward to the numerous ones to come. Is your kitchen table a special place?

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Spring is New Life~Winter is Gone!!

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I love springtime in Michigan!! Springtime is invigorating because it follows the darkest, coldest season of the year. Winters can be long, cold, and depressing, but thank God they do not last forever. Spring ALWAYS comes, even when we wonder if it ever will. Spring is a time when people emerge from their homes with smiles on their faces and a walk in their step. Many are out cleaning up what was left undone during the cold winter months. We can hear birds chirping, see trees in full bloom; feel the warmth of the sun; and smell worms after an April rain. We feel alive again after being shut up for so long.

     One of my favorite things about spring is seeing the beauty of so many trees filled with flowers. I love flowers!! Every year, the same excitement wells up within me as if I’m seeing them for the first time. Sometimes I wonder if people tire of me pointing them out year after year. I just can’t help myself. I feel like God gives them to me to energize me and send me on my way. He lets me know that I am special and He is not done with me yet. He still has more for me to do.

Flowers motivate us and let us know we are loved and life is worth living. Think about it! When someone passes away, funeral homes are usually filled with flowers to let loved ones know that they are special and there is still a life to be lived. On Valentine’s Day, so often a man will bring his love flowers to let her know that she holds an extraordinary place in his heart. When someone is sick or feeling down, often flowers are brought to cheer the person up. Yes, flowers are special!!

Maybe you’ve been going through a cold, dark season in your life. I can assure you there is an end and spring is here!! Whenever you see a flower, know that God placed it there just for you and you hold a special place in His heart. He wants you to know that you are loved and unique. Like that flower, you are one-of-a-kind, created for a purpose that only you can fulfill. Trees filled with flowers are God’s bouquets to you!! You have a life to be lived and a purpose to be fulfilled! Get up and go!! It’s time to go clean up the debris from the past so you can live your life to the fullest and complete the purpose you were created for!!

Thank you God for spring!!!

By: Linda Svacha 🙂

 

Get to the Root

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We are aware that sex trafficking, rape, abortion, pornography, STDs, divorce, domestic violence, and many single-parent homes are ruining our society, causing a great deal of pain and destruction. Countless people have been actively fighting against these problems for years. Why then are these issues and others continuing to plague our country and the world around us? Because we are cultivating these offshoots!! Believe it or not, many of the people who go out and fight these issues are unknowingly a part of cultivating the soil in which they thrive. Unless we are willing to get our hands dirty, expose and pull these by-products up by the root, they WILL continue.

All these problems have the same damaging root source ~ the distortion of God’s design for sex and intimacy. As long as we continue to focus on the individual issues without addressing the root cause, these issues and more will continue to surface and grow. We must focus on destroying the source in order for these problems to die off. Can you imagine how powerful it could be if everyone who is fighting all these individual causes got together and attacked the root?  Actually, the place to start won’t cost you a dime. It may even save you money. Are you willing to do whatever it takes?

First, we must have a right understanding of what God’s design for sex and intimacy is. God designed sex to be a powerful, unifying means for a husband and wife to become one flesh for life and to procreate in a family setting. When sex is used as an activity or to fulfill a lustful desire instead of the loving unification of a husband and wife for life, it has destructive effects. People become objects that are used and abused (objects don’t have feelings). These troubles do not happen when God’s design for marriage and family are properly in place. Stop and take a moment to see that all these issues truly DO stem from relationships taken out of God’s design.

Next, we must STOP encouraging children to get into romantic relationships before they are ready to marry. It is NOT funny or cute to see young teens and younger starting to date. When a person is in a relationship, their brain releases oxytocin (a bonding hormone). This hormone builds trust and unity and a God-given desire to get more intimate. We are either asking our children to fight against that emotion or give in to it. Neither is God’s design. Knowing the statistics, we can see how many are giving in and the damaging effects sex before marriage is having. Instead, let’s teach our teens the qualities and the skills necessary to be productive people, spouses, and parents. Will you be a part of taking the time to teach and train our next generation? Contact your pastor or myself on ways to get started.

Last is the hard part. Sex sells!!! You must decide to have NO part in anything that promotes or condones anything contrary to God’s design. Whenever we watch a show or movie, read a book, or play a video game that distorts God’s design, we take part in creating a culture that produces the by-products previously shared. Our cable companies, stores, movies theaters, and rental sources know who is watching what. They don’t know if you’re against something in it. If you are against something, why would you want to be a part of it? Can you imagine if every person who is against any or all of the issues mentioned at the beginning would refuse to watch, read, play, or listen to anything that goes against God-designed relationships? Here are two ways you can begin to dig up the root: 1) Go to http://www.pluggedin.com where they have the context of most media. If sex outside of God’s design or condoned abuse is in it, don’t participate. 2) Look into subscribing to http://pureflix.com/  where your family can watch good wholesome movies.

Remember what goes in WILL come out. We can clearly see that what has been going into us and our children has been coming out in very damaging ways. Will the change begin with you? Our children, grandchildren and country are depending on us! Are you in? With God behind us, we can take back the land that Satan has stolen, but we MUST do our part.

Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

John 15:12 This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.

By Linda Svacha, BCBC

Men of Valor Where Are You

Knights-Templar-4      On behalf of so many hurting women, I am crying out to the male population to be the men and leaders that God has called you to be.  We need men of valor who are not afraid to take a stand for what they know is right. I beg you to please read the following. We NEED you!!!!

Currently, women and children are being treated worse than any other time in our nation. An astronomical amount of women and children are being treated like objects, used and tossed like a piece of garbage. Young girls are being raped in their own homes by the very men who are supposed to be protecting them. The average age for sex-slavery is 13. Over 300,000 youth in the United States are at risk to be sold to satisfy the lusts of men. Young men think nothing of taking sex from a girl whether she says no or not. That is called rape! The men go on their merry way leaving their victims to suffer in silence. Approximately 20 million people will contract a new STD every single year. Sex outside the marriage bed HARMS!!

Over one million babies are ripped from their mother’s bodies each year. Again, the women are left to suffer in silence. There are over 10 million single family homes. Nearly one in three American children live without a father. Where are the fathers who are suppose to protect and provide for their families? Men are beating the women and children who love them with their fists and emotional words at an alarming rate. In one DAY, over 64,000 people received services for domestic violence. Boys are assaulting their mothers and sisters while the fathers stand back and watch. Where are our men of valor who will stand up and put a stop to this evil in our country?

How have such a large number of our men fallen so far from what God created them to be? I believe there are a number of reasons. One is that many men have a lack of understanding of what a true godly leader looks like. Good leaders use their power and position to benefit those who they are leading; they do not use them for self gain. Leaders love, nurture, and protect those under them, exhorting, encouraging, and empowering them to be all God created them to be. It is easy for someone under good leadership to trust and submit to their leader because they know the leader has their best interest at heart. The greatest example of this is Christ and His Church. He sacrificed His whole life for His followers. He did nothing for Himself. His followers submit to His loving lead. Marriage is to model Christ’s example so people can understand what a relationship with Christ looks like.

Another reason is the breakdown of the family. In America before the World Wars, most men provided for their family while the women managed the household. During the wars due to the lack of men, many women went out into the work force. They received a wage and satisfaction for what they accomplished. Kids were being left alone or with sitters and were no longer under the total care and supervision of their parents causing the authority of parents to weaken. This dilemma worsened when the men came home from war and women continued to work. Not only were the children suffering from lack of proper care and guidance, women were expected to continue to manage their households on top of working. Most men looked at housework as woman’s work and wanted no part of it.  Women were becoming exhausted and feeling unappreciated. One person should not be expected to do so much. It is time to take a good look and reevaluate the home to make sure one person is not carrying too much of the load and that the children are receiving the proper guidance and care necessary for them to grown into responsible adults.

In the 60’s and 70’s numerous women were tired of feeling unappreciated and unloved. Others were treated like doormats being walked all over in the name of submission. Tired of being treated like they were less valuable, a movement began where numerous women were making statements like, “We can do life on our own” and “We don’t need a man.” Women were feeling empowered like never before causing more to follow. Many women now had a means to support the family and walked away from bondage they were feeling. Other men gave women the leadership they so desperately desired. Men giving up their God-given role as leaders was not the answer. The answer was for men to be the affectionate leaders they were fashioned to be, creating an atmosphere where women and children could feel safe and loved.

Then, during this same time that women were wanting their freedom from the oppression they were feeling, the “Free Love” movement sprang up.  To many, this is where the sexual union openly became just a pleasurable activity instead of a scared bonding between a husband and wife. Men were having their fill of sexual satisfaction without the responsibility and commitment of leading and providing for their families. Women were getting the “love” and attention they so desperately longed for. In their eyes, love was free and life was great! If only they could have looked ahead forty to fifty years to see that free-love is not free and life really is not as great for women and children as they thought it would be. Women have become objects to be used for pleasure instead of a valuable treasure worth keeping for life. Children not being guided and cared for properly has resulted in them becoming irresponsible adults unable to make wise choices. We need men to stop using women as objects to satisfy their sexual lusts and respect women enough to save sexual pleasure for the marriage bed.

Men of valor we NEED you!!! What is a man of valor? A man of valor is a man who has the strength of mind and spirit that enables him to encounter danger with firmness. He has personal bravery, caring only what God thinks of him and not what others think. He takes seriously the role of leader that God has given to men. We need men who will be the loving, sacrificial, and protecting leaders they were designed to be. The following are ways you can begin:

  • Recognize that good leaders use their power and position to benefit those who they are leading; they do not use them for self gain. They love, nurture, and protect those under them.
    • Leaders are not better than those under them. All people are to be valued and respected regardless of position and status.
    • A true man does not take advantage of those who are weaker; he stands up and protects them.
    • Women and children have feelings, value, and worth.
      • Listen to them and take seriously what they have to say.
      • Respect and treat them like valuable treasures.
      • Oversee what is necessary to make sure that their physical, emotional, and spiritual needs are being met.
    • Be willing to sacrifice your wants and desires to benefit what is best for your family unit.
  • Understand that women are not sex objects to be used to satisfy your lust and tossed aside like a dirty rag.
    • The sexual union is a mutual bonding between a husband and wife where love, safety, and trust are built. When confined within the marriage union, it is a beautiful, pleasurable bonding.
    • When sex is taken outside of marriage or with force, there is great physical and emotional danger.
    • Protect the women in your life by saving sex for the woman you are/will be married to and no other.
    • Stop degrading women by looking at pornography. It can become addicting and lessen intimacy between you and your spouse.
    • Do not laugh at or even listen to jokes where women are considered sex objects. Better yet, when someone makes jokes or remarks about women, speak up and let it be know that you want no part of degrading and devaluing women.
  • Do not be silent!
    • Talk, teach, and train the next generation how to value a woman. Most media, music, and video games are teaching boys that women are objects to be used and abused, devalued and degraded.
      • Modeling a true godly leader speaks volumes. Be a loving leader to the girls and women in your life.
        • Do not watch, listen, or play any type of media where it is considered okay for women to be used (sex before marriage), abused, or degraded in any way by a man. The sad thing is that you will be surprised how little there is left. Pluggedin.com is a great resource that lets you know what is in movies, music, and video games before you watch or play them.
      • Have intentional talks explaining to boys what a true leader is.
        • Explain that a woman is a valuable treasure. Her beauty and body are to be enjoyed solely by her husband.
        • Help them see they should be old and mature enough to handle the responsibility of caring for someone else’s heart before they ever think about dating.
      • If you see a man or boy treating a woman poorly, DO NOT keep quiet! Talk to them. Explain how name calling, lying, controlling, neglect, and physical harm are ALL abuse. Men and boys need to hear this from men, not women.
    • Go the extra mile to get involved in organizations that are trying to help women who are being abused. We need men who will stand up and say, “Enough is enough!!” Men will listen to other men. Let women see that there is hope and that there are still good men out there.
  • Get outside help if needed. There are times when the wife is doing the abusing. The answer is not to fight back or passively allow it to continue, but to get the family the help that is needed. Be assertive (taking positive action), not passive (allowing the abuse to continue) or aggressive (abusing back). You are the leader; it is up to you to keep your home a safe place for everyone who lives there.

I know some of you reading this are men of valor and we want to say thank-you. You are our heroes. Thank you to the men who:

  • Love, nurture, and protect the women in your life.
  • Treat your wife as a valuable helpmate, not a slave or doormat.
  • Listen and respect what your wife and children have to say and take in account their feelings when making decisions.
  • Refuse to watch, listen, or play anything where premarital sex is glamorized or where women are abused or degraded.
  • Intentionally talk, teach, and train boys and young men to be true leaders.
  • Take responsibility to provide and care for your family.
  • Go the extra mile to proactively get involved in putting an end to women being used and abused.
  • Do not degrade women in your jokes and who stand up and say something when someone does.

After reading this, I hope that you will put into action ways to help bring back the value of a woman.

Thank you and God Bless!

Linda Svacha, BCBC

Only a Reflection of the Son

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The color and illumination of a harvest moon is breathtaking. People will look at the moon and stand in awe of its beauty. The remarkable reality is that the brilliant light and color do not come from the moon; they are merely the reflection from a greater light, the sun. Often, we are so captured by the splendor of the moon that we forget where its source of beauty and light come from. Without the light of the sun, the moon is dark and barely able to be seen. When the earth, the moon, and the sun are in the proper alignment, the total reflection of the sun is visible and the results are spectacular.

This truth reminds me of being a Christian. When the Christian, the world, and the Son are in proper alignment, people are able to see the whole reflection of the Son shining from us. That light does not come from us, but from Christ. Without Christ, our lives are unable to shine with such brilliance. It sure would be nice to take the credit, but we cannot. As Christians, we want our lives to bring glory and honor to our Savior, not us. Matthew 5:16 “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.” The next time a Christian blesses your life or you see their life shine with peace, joy, and happiness, remember none of that comes from them, but is a reflection of their Savior. Their life is simply aligned with Christ in such a way that you are able to see the total reflection of Christ. Enjoy the fruits from a Christian, but remember the source and acknowledge Him.

Christian, let your life shine with such intensity that the world will see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven!

By: Linda Svacha, BCBC

Bridging the Gap Between Generations

 Women, we are not taking seriously what God has called us to do. God has called Christian women to teach the younger, less mature women how to be what God has created women to be, which brings joy and freedom. Because we are not stepping up to the plate, the world is teaching girls and women to become everything that God did not create them to be, which is harming them and putting them into bondage.

Titus 2:1-5 But as for you, speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine: that the older men be sober, reverent, temperate, sound in faith, in love, in patience; the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things – that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.

We are losing our godly women!! It is God’s desire for women to be protected and valued, not exploited and used!!! It IS TIME for women to wake up and open their eyes to what is happening and demand the respect due all women. Below is some reality of what is happening:

  • Sex trafficking was unheard of, now we are selling our girls for profit!!  Sad to say, sex trafficking is becoming one of the biggest money makers in the U.S. Females are not sex object; we are valuable and precious.
  • Back when I was a kid, Ricky and Lucy were not allowed to be in the same bed on TV and they were married. Today, people will see over 14,000 sexual references. Nine out of ten children will have seen porn online before they reach the age of 18. Sex is a valuable, precious gift between a husband and wife. Outside of the marriage bed, sex is cheapened; it is a temporary pleasure that damages deep into the soul. If a man says he loves you and wants to spend forever with you, why won’t he make the commitment? Why? Because he wants to use you and not treasure you.
  • Twelve thousand new STDs are contracted every single day in the United States. Back when I was a teen, there were 5 STDs. All were curable. Your chance of contracting one was 1 in 56 and that was if you had multiple partners. Now, there are approximately 30 and 5 are NOT curable. Today, if you are sexually active, your chance of getting a STD is about 1 in 2 and that is with NOT having multiple partners. More women are dying of cervical cancer than HIV. Condoms do not protect against all STDs. Sex with warts and sores does not sound like the sex I want to have.
  • In 1977, there were 3 million single moms; today, there are over 10 million. Sounds to me like more and more males are using females and disposing them like menstrual rags (something to be used and tossed), instead of loving and treasuring them like fine linen (something worth keeping for life).
  • Women are getting more involved in illegal activity. In 1977, 12,279 women were jailed; in 2001, 85,031 women were jailed. That is a 592% increase. Women wanted freedom. Does that sound like freedom to you? I think we need to go back to true freedom which is found only in Christ.

What happened?

  • We have believed a lie. We have believed the world! God’s way is the way to true love and freedom.
  • We quit talking and communicating.  One of the biggest complaints you hear from parents is, “My kids do not listen to me!”  Yet, it’s interesting that one of the biggest complaints from young people is, “My parents won’t listen to me! They are always talking at me.”  THE TIME IS NOW to begin to bridge the gap between generations. NOW IS THE TIME for us to really listen to each other’s hearts and get into the lives of younger women.

What do we need to do to get started? We need mentors to walk alongside of parents to help younger girls and women think clearly. We need the 16 year-old to quit worry about getting a guy and get into a younger girl’s life as she enters puberty to show her that Christ needs to be the love of her life, not a boy. We need the 23 year-old to be there to help the 17 year-old make decisions as she enters adulthood.

  • Parents, it is time that we start talking with and not at our children. Talk openly about all subjects. It’s time we start listening to the heart. When the heart changes, the behavior will follow.
  • Church, it is time we stop trying to entertain and get serious with mentoring and discipleship. Jesus discipled; He did not entertain.
  • Younger People, it is time that you really listen to what God is telling you. Get into His word and to allow older godly women to come into your life and pass the wisdom that God has given them to you.

God is calling the church to stand up and receive what He has for her. We need to no longer settle for what the world has to offer. We see from the above statistics that the world’s way stinks! God has so much more for His children, if we will only listen & obey.

Ask yourself what is stopping you from really getting into your children’s lives and the lives of those younger that God has placed before you.

  • Maybe you are too busy, you care only about self, or you just don’t know how.
  •  Having a good, healthy relationship is vital for good communication. If you have a relationship that isn’t where it should be, pray for healing and restoration.
  • Is God speaking to your heart and you are not listening to Him or those with more wisdom. Are you willing to really listen to what a more mature Christian has to say and not blow them off? Are you willing to research what they have to say to see if there is any truth?
  • You do not have someone who is helping you grow? Go to a more mature Christian who you look up to and ask them if they would be willing to mentor and disciple you.
  • Are you a more mature Christian but have not taken seriously the call to mentor the less mature in Christ? Have you filled your life with things that are not as important as getting to know people and building relationships? Ask God who He would like you to mentor (your child, a friend, a girl/woman at church, a neighbor).
  • Has your life been focused on self? Begin focusing on God and His plan for your life.
  • Possibly, you are willing to start being a mentor, but do not know how. It’s easy. Ask the Lord to bring someone younger into your life, start building a relationship by talking about what is going on in her life (struggles, triumphs, etc), and ask her what she thinks about certain subjects. The important thing is to get to know her in an intimate way. You can show her what God has to say about a subject and what the world says. Help her to see where both ways lead. Maybe begin a Bible study to help young women grow in their walk with the Lord.

Start today!!! We need to take back the land Satan has stolen. I would love to hear what one thing you are going to do to make a difference in a girl/woman’s life.

By: Linda Svacha, BCBC

Menstrual Rag or Fine Linen

Everyone knows that a menstrual rag is to be used and tossed. Whereas, fine linen has great value and is a keepsake. God did not intend for women to be treated like menstrual rags; He intended for them to be treasured and desired like fine linen. In America, more and more women are being looked at as sex objects instead of the treasures that God created them to be. Men are using women for their pleasure and tossing them aside, used, unclean, and often damaged for life. A gentleman used to date a woman so he could see if she was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, the one who would compliment his life. He treated her with the respect she deserved. The sexual union was reserved for the marriage bed to bond a couple for life.  Now, many men want to date women to use them with no responsibility intended. They have their “fun” and then toss “their woman” aside and look for another one to use. Many are going so far as to want “friends with benefits” (sex with absolutely no commitment). The sad fact is that when women are used and discarded, the women and children suffer the most.

Women are emotional beings and have a strong desire to be loved and cherished. They suffer emotionally when there is a breakup. God created the hormone oxytocin which creates a strong bonding between two people causing them to have a “oneness.”  It is released from the pituitary gland during intimate talking, touching, cuddling, kissing, and during sex.  The more talking, touching, cuddling, kissing, and sexual activity you have, the stronger the bond becomes. When a couple split up, it can bring the woman great distress causing depression, low self-esteem, and even suicide. Having the bond and oneness that God intended only comes from being with one person for life.

Another extremely serious concern is the amount of STDs/STIs being transmitted due to sexual activity (contact with the genital area including anal and oral activity) outside the marriage bed. These diseases and infections are causing serious health issues, infertility, and even death in women. Many STIs are incurable, meaning you will have them for life. Annually, there are over 19 million new STIs in the United States (1). One in two sexually active persons will contact an STD/STI by the age 25 (1). According to Centers for Disease Control, in 2009 alone there were 12,357 women diagnosed with cervical cancer and 3,909 died from it (2). There is no condom, pill, or shot than can totally prevent you from contracting a STD/STI. Many times men have no symptoms causing them to unknowingly pass an STD/STI to all the women they use. Not only are women affected, innocent children suffer, as well. A pregnant woman with an STD can go into early labor, deliver a still born child, or cause the baby to have neurologic problems, blindness, liver disease, and more (3).

When a woman with children is abandoned, the children suffer. Currently, there are over 10 million single mothers trying to raise their children, up from 3.4 million in 1970 (4). Children in single-mother homes are more likely to live in poverty, have lower grades, take drugs, spend time in jail, and suffer emotionally. Another devastating fact is that because many men do not want to take on the responsibility of raising a family and women are afraid to raise children solo, over a million babies are aborted annually never having the opportunity to live outside of the womb. Is all of this worth some temporary pleasure?

God created the beauty of a woman. It is up to you to determine what you will do with your beauty. You can use your good looks to attract men who will use you for their sexual satisfactions and when they have had their fill, discard you. Or, you can save yourself for the man you will spend the rest of your life with being cherished and considered priceless. How will you use the beauty that God has given you?

There are a number of safeguards to help you be a woman who is treasured. First, I would watch how you dress. Your clothes send out a message. When you dress modestly, you are inviting respect. If your dress is skimpy (low cut shirts, short-shorts and dresses, bare midriffs, and bikinis), believe me, you will attract men, but they will be men who want to use you. The more revealing your clothes are, the more you will be looked at as an object instead of a person. When a woman is looked at as an object, it is easier to abuse her because objects do not have feelings. A man who looks at a woman as a lifetime partner and not a sex object is more likely to be responsible, selfless, faithful, and caring. He waits to have a relationship until he is ready to take on the responsibility of a family and saves intimacy for his marriage bed.

Next, I would wait to date until you are both ready to be married. This may sound like a crazy statement, but early dating is one of the reasons our country is in the mess it is. Adolescents are not ready to take on the responsibility of a family; therefore, building a bond with someone you may not spend the rest of your life with can be dangerous. You may compromise your values in order not to lose the person you are dating, often leading to the severe consequences presented earlier. When a couple begin to get intimate and the young man is not ready for a commitment, often he will break the relationship causing the girl intense emotional pain. Waiting to date until you are ready to be married saves you and your future children from a great deal of heartache.

Lastly, it is important to pay close attention to who a person is before you begin to date. Actions speak louder than words. Words can be deceitful. Do not date someone just because they like you. Date someone who has the characteristics you are looking for in a husband. Be picky! It is worth the wait. Some of the characteristics you should look for are: He puts God first (living for Christ, not just saying it), is a hard worker, is a giving person, and is respectful to others. He should not be easily angered or controlling. Watching for these qualities in a person before you date helps you know if you will be forsaken or cherished. Also, when you begin to date, if a male wants intimacy early on, chances are, he wants to use you. If he does not respect the fact that you do not want to get physical, end the relationship quickly.

It is time for women to take a stand and demand to be valued the way God intended them to be. Let it begin with you. Start today by putting your safeguards in place to protect your beauty and purity! You may get laughed at along the way, but in the end that laughter will turn to envy. Maybe you are a woman who has been used and tossed. That does not have to be you any longer. You are still special and of great value. God has more in store for you than to be used. Today is a new day, a new beginning! May you use your beauty in a way that brings glory to the name of Christ.

Song of Solomon 4:7 You are all fair, my love, and there is no spot in you.

Written by Linda Svacha, BCBC

Resources

1)       http://www.ashasexualhealth.org/std-sti/std-statistics.html

2)       Centers for Disease Control http://www.cdc.gov/cancer/cervical/statistics/

3)       Centers for Disease Control http://www.cdc.gov/std/pregnancy/stdfact-pregnancy.htm

4)       America’s Families and Living Arrangements http://www.census.gov/population/www/socdemo/hh-fam.html> FM-2

http://www.census.gov/newsroom/releases/archives/facts_for_features_special_editions/cb12-ff08.html