Everyone knows that a menstrual rag is to be used and tossed. Whereas, fine linen has great value and is a keepsake. God did not intend for women to be treated like menstrual rags; He intended for them to be treasured and desired like fine linen. In America, more and more women are being looked at as sex objects instead of the treasures that God created them to be. Men are using women for their pleasure and tossing them aside, used, unclean, and often damaged for life. A gentleman used to date a woman so he could see if she was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, the one who would compliment his life. He treated her with the respect she deserved. The sexual union was reserved for the marriage bed to bond a couple for life. Now, many men want to date women to use them with no responsibility intended. They have their “fun” and then toss “their woman” aside and look for another one to use. Many are going so far as to want “friends with benefits” (sex with absolutely no commitment). The sad fact is that when women are used and discarded, the women and children suffer the most.
Women are emotional beings and have a strong desire to be loved and cherished. They suffer emotionally when there is a breakup. God created the hormone oxytocin which creates a strong bonding between two people causing them to have a “oneness.” It is released from the pituitary gland during intimate talking, touching, cuddling, kissing, and during sex. The more talking, touching, cuddling, kissing, and sexual activity you have, the stronger the bond becomes. When a couple split up, it can bring the woman great distress causing depression, low self-esteem, and even suicide. Having the bond and oneness that God intended only comes from being with one person for life.
Another extremely serious concern is the amount of STDs/STIs being transmitted due to sexual activity (contact with the genital area including anal and oral activity) outside the marriage bed. These diseases and infections are causing serious health issues, infertility, and even death in women. Many STIs are incurable, meaning you will have them for life. Annually, there are over 19 million new STIs in the United States (1). One in two sexually active persons will contact an STD/STI by the age 25 (1). According to Centers for Disease Control, in 2009 alone there were 12,357 women diagnosed with cervical cancer and 3,909 died from it (2). There is no condom, pill, or shot than can totally prevent you from contracting a STD/STI. Many times men have no symptoms causing them to unknowingly pass an STD/STI to all the women they use. Not only are women affected, innocent children suffer, as well. A pregnant woman with an STD can go into early labor, deliver a still born child, or cause the baby to have neurologic problems, blindness, liver disease, and more (3).
When a woman with children is abandoned, the children suffer. Currently, there are over 10 million single mothers trying to raise their children, up from 3.4 million in 1970 (4). Children in single-mother homes are more likely to live in poverty, have lower grades, take drugs, spend time in jail, and suffer emotionally. Another devastating fact is that because many men do not want to take on the responsibility of raising a family and women are afraid to raise children solo, over a million babies are aborted annually never having the opportunity to live outside of the womb. Is all of this worth some temporary pleasure?
God created the beauty of a woman. It is up to you to determine what you will do with your beauty. You can use your good looks to attract men who will use you for their sexual satisfactions and when they have had their fill, discard you. Or, you can save yourself for the man you will spend the rest of your life with being cherished and considered priceless. How will you use the beauty that God has given you?
There are a number of safeguards to help you be a woman who is treasured. First, I would watch how you dress. Your clothes send out a message. When you dress modestly, you are inviting respect. If your dress is skimpy (low cut shirts, short-shorts and dresses, bare midriffs, and bikinis), believe me, you will attract men, but they will be men who want to use you. The more revealing your clothes are, the more you will be looked at as an object instead of a person. When a woman is looked at as an object, it is easier to abuse her because objects do not have feelings. A man who looks at a woman as a lifetime partner and not a sex object is more likely to be responsible, selfless, faithful, and caring. He waits to have a relationship until he is ready to take on the responsibility of a family and saves intimacy for his marriage bed.
Next, I would wait to date until you are both ready to be married. This may sound like a crazy statement, but early dating is one of the reasons our country is in the mess it is. Adolescents are not ready to take on the responsibility of a family; therefore, building a bond with someone you may not spend the rest of your life with can be dangerous. You may compromise your values in order not to lose the person you are dating, often leading to the severe consequences presented earlier. When a couple begin to get intimate and the young man is not ready for a commitment, often he will break the relationship causing the girl intense emotional pain. Waiting to date until you are ready to be married saves you and your future children from a great deal of heartache.
Lastly, it is important to pay close attention to who a person is before you begin to date. Actions speak louder than words. Words can be deceitful. Do not date someone just because they like you. Date someone who has the characteristics you are looking for in a husband. Be picky! It is worth the wait. Some of the characteristics you should look for are: He puts God first (living for Christ, not just saying it), is a hard worker, is a giving person, and is respectful to others. He should not be easily angered or controlling. Watching for these qualities in a person before you date helps you know if you will be forsaken or cherished. Also, when you begin to date, if a male wants intimacy early on, chances are, he wants to use you. If he does not respect the fact that you do not want to get physical, end the relationship quickly.
It is time for women to take a stand and demand to be valued the way God intended them to be. Let it begin with you. Start today by putting your safeguards in place to protect your beauty and purity! You may get laughed at along the way, but in the end that laughter will turn to envy. Maybe you are a woman who has been used and tossed. That does not have to be you any longer. You are still special and of great value. God has more in store for you than to be used. Today is a new day, a new beginning! May you use your beauty in a way that brings glory to the name of Christ.
Song of Solomon 4:7 You are all fair, my love, and there is no spot in you.
Written by Linda Svacha, BCBC
2) Centers for Disease Control http://www.cdc.gov/cancer/cervical/statistics/
3) Centers for Disease Control http://www.cdc.gov/std/pregnancy/stdfact-pregnancy.htm
4) America’s Families and Living Arrangements http://www.census.gov/population/www/socdemo/hh-fam.html> FM-2